Grosey's Messages

EPISCOPOS: THE SHEPHERDING ELDER 

1 Timothy 3: MULTIPLYING MINISTRY

1 The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.2 Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,3 not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.4 He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive,5 for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God's church?6 He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil.7 Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil.

Titus 1:5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you---6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.7 For an overseer, as God's steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain,8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined.9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Most of the leaders you serve have a vision for their group.  Envisioning.  Equipping.  

• What if I can't answer their leadership questions? • How can I offer spiritual guidance when I struggle too? • How long will I serve as a guide? • What if the leader doesn't want to grow or develop spiritually?
HOW CAN WE Build Community?

Relationships First:  People Matter More Than Programmes

Mark 3:14: Jesus calls the Twelve for two purposes: to be with him and to do ministry. The first priority was relationships— the "be-with" factor. John 15:15: At the Last Supper, Jesus says, "I no longer call you servants … instead, I have called you friends."

They first want to have a shepherd who feeds them rather than a supervisor who leads them.
Leaders want an elder who knows them like a shepherd knows his sheep. As trust builds, the leadership component can increase substantially, but never to the point that it outweighs the shepherding component.

Ask questions that will help you understand their spiritual journey. How did they come to Christ? To your church? Who has been influential in their journey?

 Understand their life history. What was/is their family like? How did they celebrate? Grieve? How did they handle conflict? What were the major turning points in their life?
Understand their heart.  What brings them joy? What makes them sad? What do they dream?
Listen Deeply      • Listen more than you speak.  "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

• Actively engage in their story.         • Ask for clarification.      • Keep the focus on them.

• Fight the temptation to move too quickly to solutions. "Answering before listening is both stupid and rude" Prov. 18:13 MSG,  Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

Be an Encourager  Who are models of encouragement in Scripture?

"Be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage —with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Tim. 4:2).
A Caring Shepherd

 

EQUIPPING: DEVELOP SKILLS BEYOND RELATIONSHIP

Acts 18:23-28 who were influential in equipping Apollos.

23 After spending some time there, he departed and went from one place to the next through the region of Galatia and Phrygia, strengthening all the disciples. 24 Now a Jew named Apollos, a native of Alexandria, came to Ephesus. He was an eloquent man, competent in the Scriptures.25 He had been instructed in the way of the Lord. And being fervent in spirit, he spoke and taught accurately the things concerning Jesus, though he knew only the baptism of John.26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue, but when Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him and explained to him the way of God more accurately.27 And when he wished to cross to Achaia, the brothers encouraged him and wrote to the disciples to welcome him. When he arrived, he greatly helped those who through grace had believed,28 for he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus.

While the relationship with your leaders is important, don't get stuck there. It is easy to make the mistake of turning the elder-leader relationship into nothing more than a deep friendship. Elders can spend years with a leader only to realize that they have cared for their needs without developing their skills.

Equipping Made Practical

 As leaders share experiences or struggles with you, watch for teachable moments. You can use a variety of tools to equip your leaders in this setting, including:

• Your past experience with the issue, either in group leadership or in coaching other leaders.

• Wisdom from other group leaders in your church who have dealt with the issue effectively.

• Upcoming classroom training at your church or other seminars and conferences.

• Books or articles that have helped you deal with the issue. These can include trusted sources like websites for small group ministries.

• Tapes or CDs of training on the topic. Many churches have developed a lending library for this purpose. If a single topic or theme emerges consistently in conversations with your leaders, like difficulty in keeping group discussions on track, then you will want to use part of your next leadership meeting time to provide skill training in this area.
Here are some guidelines for the ongoing equipping of your leaders:

Affirm their gifts and abilities. Every leader will have strengths and weaknesses. Make sure to affirm your leaders and encourage ongoing development of their talents. Offer a balance of building into their strengths and shoring up their weaknesses. Consider asking leaders to share from their strengths in a leadership gathering as a way to develop others.

Teach from their experiences. Every experience— good and bad —provides an opportunity to learn. Listen for common themes to emerge from the groups you coach. As leaders share with you, watch for specific examples that can serve as a learning experience for all your leaders.

Discern their growth edges. Over time you will begin to observe areas that are consistently challenging for a group leader. You may see unhealthy patterns developing in their personal walk or in the leadership of their group. Offer resources and tools to develop their skills and abilities in these areas.

Solve problems with them. Problem-solving requires listening and understanding. Work to identify alternate solutions and help leaders decide which would be best for their small group. You may need to consult with a staff member or small group point person before committing to a plan.

Utilize role plays. Role plays are especially effective in helping leaders learn interpersonal skills. They can be highly effective in teaching leaders skills like conflict resolution, active listening, and asking effective questions.

Learn together. You cannot know the answer to every issue or problem your leaders will encounter. So when you don't know, admit it! Work together with your leader to find the answer through the Bible, another leader, a fellow elder, a staff member, or some other resource.