Grosey's Messages: February 2024

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Wisdom to Forgive

Family Wisdom To Forgive

Call to worship Psalm 32:1-7

Law Grace reading: Matthew 18:21-34

Bible Reading Ephesians 4: 26-32 Family Wisdom To Forgive

Doxology Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Dwight L. Moody said, "I believe that the sin that is causing Christians more difficulty than any other is the sin of an unforgiving spirit." And, he said he believed that that sin, more than any other sin, was holding back the power of God in prayer in the hearts and lives of people. Now, I cannot prove that he is right. I think, most likely, he is. But, for him to even say that means that forgiveness is a problem that many people have not properly dealt with. Perhaps today your heart is harboring some heartache or some hurt that somebody has given to you and you don't know how to deal with it.

Some are listening today who are in chains. Some are chained by the chains of guilt are chained there because they have done wrong and they have not yet gotten forgiveness. Those who are chained by bitterness are chained in a prison, not because they have done wrong and have not yet gotten forgiveness, but somebody has wronged them and they have not forgiven that individual. And, I want to speak to those who may not yet have forgiven somebody who has wronged you, and I want to say that bitterness is a terrible prison. I believe that bitterness has caused murders. It has caused wars. It has caused divided churches. It has caused divorces.

And, we need to learn how to deal with bitterness. We need to learn how to forgive one another.

Now, one of God's greatest gifts to us is forgiveness. Thank God He has forgiven us. Thank God for His grace that forgives us. Now, to forgive literally means "to release a debt." When we sin, we sin against God. There's a debt that we cannot pay. When forgiveness comes, the debt is cancelled. If, for example, you owe me a thousand dollars, and you cannot pay, and I say, "I forgive the debt," it cost me a thousand dollars to forgive that debt. There are no free pardons. Forgiveness costs. The forgiver forgives the forgivee, and the forgiver pays the debt. And so, there are no cheap forgivenesses. When the Lord Jesus Christ forgave us, it was not cheap. Although our forgiveness was free, there was a price paid. For example, Ephesians chapter 1, verse 7 says: "In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace." (Ephesians 1:7)

Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." That's really close to what Peter says, that "love covers all offenses." You can see how close the parallel is to Peter's "love covers a multitude of sins." So what does this proverb mean? The contrast is between hatred and love. What hatred does is stir up strife, and what love does is cover offenses. The opposite of covering offenses is to stir up strife.

I take the strife to mean what happens when you don't cover offenses, but rather when you try to uncover as many as you can. You're on the lookout for people's flaws and failures and imperfections.

Look at how Paul describes it in Ephesians 4. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

The Ruin of Unforgiveness Strife

Alexander the Great conquered the world, but he wasn't able to conquer himself. You are better, to conquer that anger; it is better than to take a city. Now how are you going to do it? How are you going to get rid of this stubborn anger? Well, leave the Book of Proverbs, and turn, if you will, for a moment, to Ephesians chapter 4. Let me show you some amazing scriptures here on anger in the Book of Ephesians; and we'll use our Proverbs as a stepping-stone to the New Testament. Ephesians chapter 4, and look with me, if you will, in verse 26: "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26). Now he's talking about stubborn anger here. When you let the sun go down upon your anger—that is, when you live with your anger. You husbands and wives get into an argument, and then rather than kneeling by the bed and getting right with God, and getting right with one another, you go to bed back-to-back, angry—you let the sun go down upon your wrath. Do you know what you've done? You've opened the door to the devil. What you've done is this: you've said, "Devil, come in and wreck my home; devil, come in and destroy my family; devil, come in and ruin my testimony." You have given the devil a place—that's what the Bible says: "Let not the sun go down upon your wrath: neither give place to the devil" (Ephesians 4:26–27). What you've done is, you've given the devil a beachhead, a foothold, a toehold, a nest, a foul nest; and, believe you me, he is ready to come in. And it is that anger, that stubborn anger, that the devil loves to have as a campground. Now let me show you how the devil works, when you open the door, when you let the sun go down upon your wrath. The devil has six steps that he's going to destroy you with—this matter of stubborn anger that I'm talking about. Begin in verse 31—we're in Ephesians 4, verse 31: "Let all bitterness,"—one—"and wrath,"—two—"and anger,"— three—"and clamour,"—four—"and evil speaking,"—five—"be put away from you, with all malice"—six (Ephesians 4:31). Those are the six steps—six, the number of a man. Let me show you how the devil works to get you—and when you open the door to the devil, when you let the sun go down upon your wrath, that is, you get what becomes stubborn anger—let me show you what happens.

1. Bitterness First of all, he talks about bitterness here. Are you looking at it—verse 31? What is bitterness? Bitterness is that feeling of resentment when somebody does you a wrong, or you think they've done you a wrong, and you get bitter in your heart. Now the Bible, in the Book of Hebrews, calls this a "root of bitterness" (Hebrews 12:15). In dealing with your lawn, weeding your lawn, have you ever tried to get a dandelion up? You know, you just pull the tops off, but you haven't dealt with that rascal; because the root is down there. And there is that root of bitterness, and it gets in there, and you begin to feel hurt. Somehow, you feel that your rights have been trampled on; somehow, you've been overlooked, somebody's done you wrong. And you feel that you're justified. And that's what the Bible calls bitterness—that's step number one: bitterness.

2. Wrath Now what happens to bitterness? Well, the next thing, the next word he uses here, is wrath—that's step number two. The word wrath comes from a Greek word that means "hot"; you get all hot about it, you get all hot and bothered. There's a slow burn that starts; and the bitterness turns to burning; and you just feel that start in there, and it smolders and smolders. Do you know that feeling? It's an ugly feeling, isn't it? That bitterness. I've felt it—that bitterness becomes that hotness, that burning, that smoldering thing.

3. Anger And then, look at the third step here—the third word is anger. Now wrath speaks of that which is on the inside, but anger speaks of that which is on the outside. And the Greek word for anger here means that which is open and outward. It is outward hostility now, as the smoldering rags that are in the attic of the mind now burst into flames, and they've been bitter for quite a while. We may be doing the slow burn for quite a while, and then, just the right catalyst happens, comes, and then, it's anger—that's the third step. This is outward now, and it's active now.

4. Clamor And then, that's followed by number four: clamor. Now the word clamor has the idea of being vocal, being loud. It may be tears, but most often, it is shouting. Have you ever noticed, when people get angry, their voice rises, and you talk to another person, you say, "Well now, you don't have to shout." He says, "I'm not shouting!" He gets louder, and clamor comes in.

5. Evil Speaking Slander But then, what follows, when we lift our voices that way? That clamor turns to evil speaking; then, when we get—we hear ourselves talking that way, and that open hostility breaks out—then, we start to say things we never really meant. We begin to speak evil, there's evil speaking, slander—"I hate you"; "I wish you'd never been born"; "you're a stupid child"; "you're the meanest person I ever knew"—and we begin to say things that we know are not true; but, we are on a roll, aren't we? I mean, we're doing good now. I mean, boy, the devil says, "And tell him this," and, you start to say those things—you don't mean them, but you verbalize them, because that bitterness turned to a burning, and that burning turned to an anger, and that anger turned to a clamor, and that clamor turned to an evil speaking.

6. Malice And then, that evil speaking does what? Turns to malice. Do you know what malice is? That's when you want to hurt somebody. Pow! Or, if you can't hurt them with your fists, you'll hurt them with words. If you can't hurt them with words, you'll hurt them with money. If you can't hurt them money, you'll hurt them somehow. That's when a mother will slap a child; that's when a husband will abuse a wife; that's when somebody goes for a gun, or goes for a stick, or does some foolish, silly thing. And the ole' devil just sitting over there grinning. Oh, he's having a time; and you're the one who will open the door, and say, "Come on in—wreck my home, wreck my life, wreck my health, destroy the whole thing." You're the one who did it; you gave a place to the devil, because you let the sun go down upon your wrath, and that smoldering anger there begins to take it's toil. Terrible, isn't it? Awful, isn't it? Hideous, isn't it? I think there's not a one of us who hasn't been there at one time or another.

Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up strife," You draw attention to them, and you stir up conflict by pointing out as many of a person's flaws as you can. That's what hate does, according to Proverbs.

The opposite of this would be that you're not eager to draw attention to people's flaws or failures. You're not eager to create corporate blame and conflict. Instead, love seeks to deal with flaws and failures and sins another way, more quietly. Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses." Of course, you're not ignorant that some sins must be dealt with publicly — as in the case, say, of sexual abuse or some kind of violence. But you also know that there are hundreds of things that people say and do that are offensive, or selfish, or prideful, or off-color, and they need to be dealt with quietly and kindly. I think this is what Paul was getting at in Galatians 6:1 where he said, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." In other words, you don't blow a trumpet and try to placard the person's transgression all over the community. You do your best to bring about repentance quietly, personally. Or if there are reasons that it's not your place to confront the person, you simply give the person slack, and you hope and you pray that the kindness that you show by overlooking the sin would have a good effect in due time.

So cover offenses can have two meanings. One is to simply "let it go; overlook it," and that's referred to in Proverbs 19:11: "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." That's one meaning of cover — to overlook. You see it, but love inclines you not to take offense, be angered, or be hurt, but to hope that your endurance of the injury (perhaps against you), your forgiveness, and your patience will bear fruit in change.

The other meaning is that, under that cover of patience, you may be quietly and actively dealing with the person in one-on-one ways that quietly and actively seek repentance. We shouldn't jump to the conclusion that when "love covers a multitude of sins," it's not talking to anybody. Love wants peace, not conflict. Love wants holiness, not sin. Love wants the good of the sinning person, not public vengeance. And in both of these meanings of cover — the "overlook" one and the "quietly deal with the sinner" one — there is a forgiving spirit at work. We see that in Psalm 32:1: "Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered." In this verse, cover parallels forgive. To cover is to work toward forgiveness, where the sin doesn't break the relationship anymore.

Now, back to 1 Peter 4:7–8: "The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." So against the Old Testament background, as well as the New Testament parallels that we'll see in just a minute, the sins that are being covered here are the sins of fellow Christians. Not your own sins, and not those outside the church, but the failures of Christians to live up to the biblical path of righteousness.

And with that in mind, we start to see this work of love all over the New Testament. That covering idea is everywhere. For example, in 1 Corinthians 13:5, it says, "Love is patient and kind. It does not keep an account of wrongs." 1 Corinthians 13:5 and says, "[Love] is not irritable." That's like "overlook." It's like "covering." Isn't that the same as saying that "love covers irritations"? Then he says, "Love bears all things . . . endures all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7). Well, "bears and endures" means that love doesn't throw your flaw and your failure back in your face. It bears it. It endures it. That's covering it, rather than waving a flag over it.

Ephesians 4:30,31

Colossians 3:13, where Paul says to believers, "[Bear] with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, [forgive] one another; as the Lord has forgiven you." So enduring, forgiving, means that people have offended me, hurt me, irritated me, and I choose not to retaliate. Instead, I cover the offense of the hurt or the irritation.

The Reasons for Forgiveness

The Grace Factor

Now, look up here, and let me tell you something: when you forgive another—truly forgive from your heart—you set two people free: one, the person that you have forgiven; the other is yourself. Now, to forgive actually means "to pay a debt." There are no bargain pardons. That's the reason our Lord taught us to pray there in the Model Prayer: "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." (Matthew 6:12) Sin is a debt that we owe. We have sinned against heaven, against the kingdom. it's a debt we cannot pay. But God, in mercy and in love, has forgiven us and paid that debt. You see, there are no free pardons. When somebody is forgiven, somebody else has paid.

When our Lord forgives us, does He pay a price? The Bible says, "In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace." (Ephesians 1:7) Out of the riches of His grace, He paid the debt Himself and, therefore, cancelled that debt. That's the reason we call salvation "grace"—G-R-A-C-E: "God's Riches At Christ's Expense."

The Guilt Factor

Forgiving and being forgiven go together. The only person who can afford not to forgive is the person who will never need forgiveness. Notice the prayer: "Father, forgive us, as we forgive those…" (Matthew 6:12) Now friend, if you don't intend to forgive that person who has wronged you, that's a very foolish—and even a stupid—prayer for you to pray: "Father, you treat me like I'm treating them. Father, forgive me as"—in the same manner—"I forgive others."

An unforgiving spirit is ungodly. It is ungodly. It is a terrible thing. Jesus illustrated this with a story.

Jesus, speaking about forgiveness, illustrates it this way; He gave a parable—Matthew 18:21-34:

Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven. 23 "Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants.24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.'27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, 'Pay what you owe.'29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you.'30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?'34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt.35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart."

1. An Unforgiving Spirit Disgraces the Father 2. An Unforgiving Spirit Discourages the Saints

3. An Unforgiving Spirit Drives Away the Lost 4. An Unforgiving Spirit Delights the Devil

The Reality of Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

The Divine Revelation as God in Christ forgave you.

The Actual Operation in our experience forgave you.

An Immeasurable separation.

2 things.. covering of the altar

Leviticus 16: 5 And he shall take from the congregation of the people of Israel two male goats for a sin offering, and one ram for a burnt offering…. 7 Then he shall take the two goats and set them before the LORD at the entrance of the tent of meeting. 8 And Aaron shall cast lots over the two goats, one lot for the LORD and the other lot for Azazel. 9 And Aaron shall present the goat on which the lot fell for the LORD and use it as a sin offering, 10 but the goat on which the lot fell for Azazel shall be presented alive before the LORD to make atonement over it, that it may be sent away into the wilderness to Azazel.

15 "Then he shall kill the goat of the sin offering that is for the people and bring its blood inside the veil and do with its blood as he did with the blood of the bull, sprinkling it over the mercy seat and in front of the mercy seat.

Sending out of the goat.

20 "And when he has made an end of atoning for the Holy Place and the tent of meeting and the altar, he shall present the live goat. 21 And Aaron shall lay both his hands on the head of the live goat, and confess over it all the iniquities of the people of Israel, and all their transgressions, all their sins. And he shall put them on the head of the goat and send it away into the wilderness by the hand of a man who is in readiness. 22 The goat shall bear all their iniquities on itself to a remote area, and he shall let the goat go free in the wilderness.

Psalm 103: 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

The Eternal Invitation

Eph 5:1,2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

The Requirements for Forgiveness

Forgive Freely "Freely ye have received, freely give" (Matthew 10:8). Now when I say freely, I mean you're to be so ready to forgive somebody that you don't wait for them to come to you and ask you to forgive them.

Forgive Quickly and Wholeheartedly (as the Lord forgave you!!)

Prov 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.

Prov 17:9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Forgive Fully Drop the Matter Quickly (before it gets out of control!!)

Prov 17:14 Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

Now you might say, "but we just can't stop fighting!" You may say "I just can't handle my anger. Well, I can't help it. I just can't control it." Don't tell me that you can control it. You can control it. Don't tell me you can't. Have you and your wife ever been in one of those discussions that can be heard for about a block away? And, I mean, you're just right into it—I mean, really in to it. You are just out of control, you think. And then, the telephone rings. You pick up the phone: "Hello. How are you today?" How do you do that? I mean, how do you just turn it off just like that? I'll tell you how: because your pride doesn't want to let the person on the other end know that you're in an argument. You can control it—you can. You choose not to control it sometimes, and you get yourself in all kind of trouble. You can go from blowing hard to "oh my dear friend its so good to hear your voice." If you can do it for the phone, you can do it for your wife and kids! I read about a man whose office files were getting so full of extraneous papers. He was a man who couldn't bear to throw anything away. And the files got fuller and fuller and fuller. One day, his secretary said, "Sir, can I clean out the files?" He said, "Well, okay, clean them out. But before you throw anything away, make a copy of it."

Forgive Finally Their sins and iniquities I will remember no more.

Don't Feed the Issue… Let It Die!

26:20 Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.

26:21 As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.

Steve in Glen Innes strapped dynamite to his chest to blow up the local Police Station.

Another guy came for counseling. He had decided he hated everyone so much, he poisoned the water supply for the town, and himself as well.

"He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls" (Proverbs 25:28). You say, "He made me angry." No, he didn't. You made you angry. You had no defense because you didn't rule your own spirit. Nobody can make you angry. It's not what they do that makes you angry; it is your response to what they do that makes you angry. If you're asleep and somebody says all kinds of bad things about you, and you're sleeping so sound you don't hear them, then that doesn't make you angry. But, if you're awake and you hear them, then you could get angry. So, obviously, it's not what they do; it's what your response is.

Don't Hang Around People Who Love to Argue Prov 22:10 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended. 22:24-25 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

The Results of Forgiveness

Reconciliation Make Amends for Sin [ask for forgiveness]

14:9 Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright.

Observe Proper Social Boundaries Prov 25:17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house—too much of you, and he will hate you.

Don't Meddle in Other's Private Affairs Prov 26:17 Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own.

Leave Retribution to God Prov 20:22 Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!" Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.

Show Kindness, Even to the Worst Enemy (commit the rest to God) Prov 25:21-22 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. 22 In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.

Give a Gift Prov 21:14 A gift given in secret soothes anger, and a bribe concealed in the cloak pacifies great wrath.

I cannot work my soul to save; For that My Lord Has done.

But I will work like Any slave For love of God's dear Son.

# posted by Groseys messages @ 1:03 PM

Monday, February 19, 2024

After death where are you?

(The following was written by Matthew Henry to be read to his family and friends after his death.) "WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW WHERE I AM? I am at home in my Father's house — in the mansion Jesus prepared for me there. I am where I want to be — where I have long and often desired to be. I am no longer on a stormy sea — but in a safe and quiet harbor. My working time is done — I am resting! My sowing time is done — I am reaping! My joy is as the joy of harvest! Would you know how it is with me? I am perfect in holiness; grace is swallowed up in glory! Would you know what I am doing? I see God; I see Him as He is; not as through a glass darkly, but face to face. The sight is transforming, it makes me like Him! I am in the sweet enjoyment of my blessed Redeemer, whom my soul loved, and for whose sake I was willing to part with all. I am here bathing myself at the spring-head of heavenly pleasures and unutterable joys; and, therefore, weep not for me. I am here singing hallelujahs incessantly to Him who sits upon the throne, and rest not day or night from praising Him! Would you know what company I have? Blessed company — better than the best on earth; here are holy angels, and the spirits of just men made perfect. I am here with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of God; with blessed Paul, and Peter, and James, and John, and all the saints. And here I meet with many old acquaintances that I fasted and prayed with, who came here before me. And, lastly, would you like to know how long this is to continue? It is a garland that never withers; a crown of glory that never fades away; after millions of millions of ages, it will be as fresh as it is now; and, THEREFORE, WEEP NOT FOR ME!" ~ Matthew Henry 1662-1714

# posted by Groseys messages @ 2:17 PM

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Wisdom for Effective Communication Proverbs 18

Call To Worship 2 Corinthians 5:1-11 Law and Grace reading James 3

Bible reading Wisdom for Effective Communication Proverbs 18 Benediction Jude 24,25

Today I want to talk to you about the more important thing I know in the home (other than just loving the Lord), and that is this matter of communication. I heard of a man sitting next to another man on a bus, and the man noticed that his friend was wearing his wedding ring on his right hand and on the index finger. Now, most people wear their wedding ring, of course, on the hand, on this particular finger. The man said, "That's strange." He said, "Is that your wedding ring?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Why are you wearing it on the wrong finger?" "Well," he said, "I married the wrong woman." Now, it may be that you think that you married the wrong woman, but you may not have married the wrong woman. It may be that you never learned, really, how to communicate with your wife and vice versa.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. ²²He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:21–22).

And so, our Lord mentions a happy marriage and communication side by side: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21).

It is said that in the average day a man speaks about 20,000 words, a woman speaks about 30,000 words. Of course, the problem comes when the man comes home at night and he's already used his 20,000 and she has 10,000 left. One man said, "Do you ever resent your wife for getting the last word?" He said, "No, I'm glad when she gets to it." Your, you can get in trouble with words. I mean, your mouth can get you in serious trouble in, in a hurry. One young man was working in a supermarket. He was in the produce department. And a lady came in, and she said, "Young man, I would like one half head of lettuce." He said, "Well, madam, I don't think we could sell one half head of lettuce." She said, "Young man, I said I want one half head of lettuce. Do you understand?" "Well," he said, "pardon me, let me go check." So he went back to the manager of the produce department, and said, "Boss," said, "there's an old lady out here." Said, "She's got a face like a hatchet and, she, she's a little funny.

And she says she wants a half head of lettuce." And he turned around and the woman was standing right behind him. But he said, "You know, boss, I think we're in luck because this dear lady wants the other half." After it was over, the boss sat him down and said, "Son, you're, you're a remarkable young man. That, that's pretty good. You landed on your feet. You're, you're sharp. Maybe you could go places. Where are you from, son?" "Duneedoo", "Oh." He said, "What's that known for?"

"Oh," he said, "great football teams and ugly women." "Well," he said, "son, my wife "Oh," he said, is from Duneedoo!" To which he replied, "what team does she play for?" Your tongue can get you in a lot of trouble. As a matter of fact, the words you use, the way you speak is really a sign of your spiritual maturity.

Wisdom for Effective Communication

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. ²²He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

Have you ever heard any body say, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me"? Don't believe it. The cruelest cut of all is often spoken words.

WISDOM FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Proverbs 16:13 Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.

We have a tremendous opportunity to present the Lord Jesus Christ to our community next Sunday.

Like the great evangelist John Wesley we too can say: "I came to town and offered them Christ."

2 Cor 5: 11 Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.12 We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart.13 For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Explain it in the common tongue In phrases clearly understood,
Just how it was for me He hung For me was shed this kingly blood.
For only vaguely do I sense your meaning Reverend, and it's late.
Really I mean no offense — But speak up man! Communicate!

So keep to basics if you can This mind's a mighty void to fill
Then if you can't Lord, help this man And lead me to someone who will!"

Proverbs 24: 26 An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Proverbs 25:12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.

Proverbs 27: 5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. 6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Wisdom for Effective Communication

BE CONCISE

Proverbs 17: 27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. 28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Now, we ought to listen more than we talk. God gave us two ears and only one mouth.

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

BE CONTROLLED

Proverbs 13:3 He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

James 3:7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,⁸but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Prov 29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

BE COURTEOUS Proverbs 11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. 13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

BE CALM Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

James 1: ¹⁹Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;²⁰for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Some time ago I had to change planes from the small Oklahoma airport and the giant Dallas airport. They have a train at Dallas to get you to the right plane at the right time. I got on the right train. It got me to the next terminal with only minutes to spare. And then, right in front of me, a passenger was having a long winded argument with an airline employee at the gate. There was no way of getting past them. The Passenger was super aggressive. The airline employee was so patient. At the end of it, again with only seconds to spare, I remarked to the airline employee, "How on earth did you keep your cool with that guy? I am amazed at your patience! You did it so well!" "Wahl" the employee drawled, "I know he is going to Los Angeles, and I know his bags are going to Anchorage Alaska!"

BE CONSIDERATE

Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening-- that is his folly and his shame.

Proverbs 18:17 The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.

BE CULTIVATED

Proverbs 15:28 The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

James 1:21 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

James 3: 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life

Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

A lion met a tiger As they drank beside a pool
Said the tiger, "tell me why… You're roaring like a fool."
"That's not foolish;" said the lion, with a twinkle in his eyes,
"They call me king of all the beasts because I advertise!"
A rabbit heard them talking, and ran home like a streak.
He thought he'd try the lion's plan, but his roar was just a squeak.
A fox, who happened on the scene, had a fine lunch in the woods.
The Moral? When you advertise, just be sure you've got the goods.

# posted by Groseys messages @ 10:22 PM

Sunday, February 11, 2024

The Billy goat

I lived near Gymea bay public school before moving to Engadine for high school. On the corner was the old school grounds. It had that sign, "trespassers will be prosecuted".

I wondered if that was what it meant in the prayer "forgive us our trespassers"

But much worse it had a big hairy billygoat. I discovered then I didn't need to run faster than that goat so long as I could run faster than my school mate.

# posted by Groseys messages @ 7:20 PM

Thursday, February 08, 2024

Visiting elderly in hospital

I visited in hospital with the elderly unsaved mother of our chairman of deacons. As soon as I walked in the door of her hospital room she recognised me and said "oh dear has it come to this? They didn't tell me that I was that unwell!"

# posted by Groseys messages @ 7:51 AM

Friday, February 02, 2024

Trellis and Vine chapter 5 Philippians

Trellis and Vine chapter 5 Philippians

Is it really true, we often get asked, that the normal Christian life includes disciple-making? What about those who are barely hanging on to faith in Christ? Should we make them feel bad because they aren't out there sharing the gospel or encouraging someone else in the faith or being 'trained in ministry'? Aren't we just making the average struggling Christian feel guilty? Or worse, aren't we in danger of creating a new kind of legalism, where being 'involved in disciple-making' becomes the standard you have to meet to win the approval of your pastor (if not of God)? Do we end up creating two classes of Christians: the 'keenies' and the rest? These are legitimate and important questions, and at their heart is a question about the normal Christian life. There is no better place to answer this than from Paul's extraordinary letter from prison to the Philippians.

Partners in the gospel of grace

Paul wrote his letter to the Christians at Philippi while enjoying the 'hospitality' of the Roman authorities. For daring to preach Christ as the true king rather than Caesar, Paul was in prison, probably in Rome, and facing the very real prospect of execution (1:13-14, 21).

How would you react if your pastor was imprisoned for preaching Christ as the only true God? Perhaps you would disown him because of embarrassment, shame or the fear of what you might lose. If someone challenged you, you might say: "Oh, I don't really know him very well. I've only actually been to his church a few times. I always thought he was a bit extreme."

Then again, maybe you would find the strength to stand in solidarity with him—by sending gifts, praying, accepting the persecution of the authorities, and defiantly continuing to preach the same message of Christ. Perhaps you would say: "Yes, my pastor is in prison for preaching Christ. And they can come and lock me up too if they want to, because I will not stop confessing the truth—that Jesus Christ is the risen Lord of all." What would you do?

Paul's letter opens with a prayer of great joy because the Philippians have remained in solidarity with him in the gospel "from the first day until now". The Philippians didn't disown or abandon their imprisoned apostle; they stood with him. And the word that Paul keeps using throughout the letter to describe this solidarity is 'partnership'. In Greek, it is koinõnia, the word we often translate as 'fellowship'.

The fellowship that the Philippians shared with Paul was not a cup of tea after church, or a pleasant evening of Bible study. The Philippians and Paul were sharers together in God's grace through Jesus Christ (1:7). Like Paul, the Philippians were looking forward to the day of Christ, when by his death and resurrection they would be counted pure and blameless and filled with the fruit of righteousness (1:9-11, 3:8-10). God himself had begun a good work in them, and would bring it to completion (1:6).

The partnership they shared in the gospel was not a way of securing their right standing before God. If anyone might have had a reason to boast before God and declare himself righteous, it would have been Paul himself—that "Hebrew of Hebrews" (3:5). But the gospel he preached rendered all human

striving for righteousness pathetic and pointless:

But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith… (Phil 3:7-9)

This is the gospel the Philippians had heard and, by God's grace, believed. It was a gospel about a suffering Christ who died and rose to bring righteousness and salvation to his people. Embracing this gospel meant being willing to suffer like Christ himself. In fact, Paul puts it even more strongly than that. He says that standing up for the gospel, and being called to suffer for Christ, is itself a gift of God's grace:

It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defence and confirmation of the gospel. (Phil 1:7) For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake… (Phil 1:29)

And so Paul urges the ordinary everyday Christians in Philippi to remain strong in their gospel partnership; to keep standing up for Christ in the face of hostility and persecution. To live this way, he says, is merely to live in a manner worthy of the gospel itself:

Only let your manner of life be worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or am absent, I may hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by your opponents.

This is a clear sign to them of their destruction, but of your salvation, and that from God. For it has been granted to you that for the sake of Christ you should not only believe in him but also suffer for his sake, engaged in the same conflict that you saw I had and now hear that I still have. (Phil 1:27-30)

The Greek word behind "let your manner of life" in verse 27 means to "live as a citizen". The noun form of the word is used in 3:20: "But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ…"

The Philippians knew very well that they were a Roman colony, with all the privileges and rights of being full citizens of the Empire. But, Paul reminds them, your king is not Caesar, and Rome is not your citizenship; your king is Jesus Christ, and heaven is your citizenship. Live, therefore, in a manner worthy of that citizenship. Stand side by side as a united army fighting for that king, to his honour and glory.

The ordinary believers in Philippi were not second-class citizens, or support crew hovering behind the front lines. They were to lock arms and strive together "for the faith of the gospel", being neither surprised by the conflict and struggle that would ensue, nor frightened of their opponents. And in doing so, they were engaged in the same conflict and struggle that Paul himself had experienced and was still experiencing. They were partners in suffering; partners in the "defence and confirmation of the gospel" (1:7); partners with Paul and with each other. This is why unity is so important in the congregation, and why complaining, grumbling and discord is so totally out of place. The wonderful passage about the other-person-centred humility of Christ in chapter 2 is, in context, a call for the Philippians to put aside selfish motives and petty rivalries so that they can strive together for the sake of the gospel, shining like beacons in the corrupt society around them:

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labour in vain. (Phil 2:14-16)

Scholars have debated whether it should be 'holding fast' in verse 16, or 'holding out'—the implication being that 'holding out' implies an outwardlooking evangelistic emphasis, whereas 'holding fast' is more about their own perseverance in the faith. It's hard to imagine the Philippians having any patience with this distinction. For them, 'holding fast' to the gospel as partners with Paul inevitably meant joining with him in striving for the gospel, and accepting the suffering that always followed. It meant standing alongside their imprisoned apostle, and speaking out for the "defence and confirmation of the gospel".

Paul mentions Timothy and Epaphroditus as two outstanding examples for the Philippians to emulate. Timothy is unparalleled in his concern for others rather than himself (2:20-21). He puts the interests of Jesus Christ first, and serves alongside Paul like a son in the family business. Epaphroditus is a Philippian, whom Paul calls "my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, and your messenger and minister to my need, for he has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill" (2:25- 26).

Did you get that? Epaphroditus was distressed not because he was ill, but because they heard he was ill. How many of us can say that about our attitude when we are sick?!

Normal Christian partnership

According to Paul, gospel partnership is the normal Christian life. It means standing together united in the gospel, determined to live as citizens of heaven in the midst of our corrupt generation, longing and striving to see the gospel be defended and proclaimed, and bravely copping the conflict, struggle and persecution that inevitably follow.

The practical outworking of this partnership is broad ranging. We see the Philippians praying for Paul (1:19); we see them sharing in his troubles by sending him financial help (4:14-19); we see Philippians like Epaphroditus, Euodia, Syntyche and Clement among Paul's band of co-workers; and we see the Philippians being called to imitate Paul in contending for the gospel despite hostility from without and opposition from within (3:17-4:1).

The gospel itself demands that we stand with our leaders and preachers in profound unity, teamwork and solidarity—not because of their personalities or gifts, but because of our common partnership in the gospel of Jesus Christ. There aren't two classes of Christians—the partners and the spectators. We're all in it together. One church we have been involved in tried to express this by not having 'membership' of the congregation, but 'partnership'. In our society, when you join as a 'member' of something, it can have connotations of passivity and consumerism. I join a club, and expect certain benefits. The 'partnership' language, on the other hand, communicates immediately that we are signing up for active involvement—for being partners together in a great enterprise: the gospel mission of Christ.

In first-century Philippi, there was no doubt what this involved—a willingness to publicly bind yourself to a new and distrusted 'sect' whose leaders were being thrown in gaol; a determination to stand together with your brothers, come what may, and contend for the gospel; and a selfforgetting commitment to your brothers and sisters in Christ.

None of this was a program of good works to get you into heaven! In fact, legalizers who wanted to put confidence in the flesh were the enemy. But the immeasurable free grace of God that came to them through faith in Christ was not a licence for an easy, comfortable life with a dash of spirituality on the side; rather, it was a passport to a new citizenship of suffering and contending side by side for the gospel.

Paul was their leader, example and fellow soldier in this fight. And this is the pattern we see elsewhere in the New Testament as well. Leaders, pastors and elders are responsible to teach, to warn, to rebuke, and to encourage. They are foremen and organizers, guardians and mobilizers, teachers and models. They provide the conditions under which the rest of the gospel partners can also get on with vine work—with prayerfully speaking God's truth to others.

However, at a profound level, all pastors and elders are also just partners. They do not have a different essence or status, or a fundamentally different task—as if they are the real 'players', and the rest of the congregation are spectators or support crew. A pastor or elder is a vineworker who has been given a particular responsibility to care for and equip the people for their partnership in the gospel.

Which brings us inevitably to 'training'.

# posted by Groseys messages @ 5:17 PM

Thursday, February 01, 2024

Wisdom Is Finding Peace Proverbs 3

Call to Worship Ephesians 2:4-10 Law Grace reading about trust. Jeremiah 17:5-10

Bible reading Proverbs 3 Wisdom God's Ways on Dark Days Doxology Jude 24,25

Proverbs 3

1 My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments,

2 for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

3 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.

4 So you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man.

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

7 Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.

8 It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.

9 Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce;

10 then your barns will be filled with plenty, and your vats will be bursting with wine.

11 My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof,

12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

13 Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding,

14 for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold.

15 She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.

16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor.

17 Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace.

18 She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed.

19 The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens;

20 by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.

21 My son, do not lose sight of these--- keep sound wisdom and discretion,

22 and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck.

23 Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble.

24 If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

25 Do not be afraid of sudden terror or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,

26 for the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught.

27 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

28 Do not say to your neighbor, "Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it"---when you have it with you.

29 Do not plan evil against your neighbor, who dwells trustingly beside you.

30 Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm.

31 Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways,

32 for the devious person is an abomination to the LORD, but the upright are in his confidence.

33 The LORD's curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the dwelling of the righteous.

34 Toward the scorners he is scornful, but to the humble he gives favor.

35 The wise will inherit honor, but fools get disgrace.