Tuesday, January 26, 2010
“Divorce According to God” Matt.19:4-12
When Jesus had finished this instruction, He departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan.
2 Large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,
5 and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command [us]to give divorce papers and to send her away?”
8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning.
9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
10 His disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!”
11 But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to.
12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”
As we love folks we discover we are all the more imperfect.
Yet, as we grow closer together as a church we love each other inspite of our failures and inspite of the difficulties that folks have experienced. It’s a preventative message.
God forgives the past but it doesn’t change the past. And the past can hurt a lot.
This passage is a difficult passage which will draw up some difficult emotions for many here today. Know I love you as we read this passage. Know that inspite of the difficulties that the passage presents, we are to have deep compassion for those who have experienced the deep heart break of divorce.
Marriage today seems to be for better for worse but not for long.
Two main causes for divorce, men and women.
Malachi.. I hate divorce! But He does not hate the divorcee, He hates what it does to families and His plan.
I often feel like the man who told his wife about an elderly woman he passed on the side of the road. She was desperately trying to change a flat tyre in the pouring rain.
He said, “I couldn’t believe how many people drove right on by.” Then he said, “I would have stopped myself if I hadn’t been on my way to work. After all I couldn’t be late.” Frankly, there’s not a lot of room in our world for compassion. One old cynic said recently, “Don’t bother telling people your troubles. Half of them don’t care and the other half figures you probably had it coming to you.”
Folks, that attitude is prevalent everywhere we turn. That’s one of the reasons why real compassion is so compelling. And it’s one of the reasons God has so much to say about it in the Bible. Eg. Henry Ward Beecher said, “Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.”
A tidal wave of pain. A compassionate attitude towards others. We need to warn people th bridge is out. I t is those who have been divorced who would tell you avoid it. Its painful It hurts.
If you are married don’t hurry to end it and if you are not married don’t hurry to get married.
The Lord Jesus was being put into a trap.
2 Large crowds followed Him, and He healed them there.
3 Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?”
1. God's original pattern – Matthew 19:4-6 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who createdthem in the beginning made them male and female, and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.”
God made man Genesis 1:27 - "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
We are more than material we are more than animal we are more than stuff.
Gen 2:7Then the Lord God formed the man out of the dust from the ground and breathed the breath of life into his nostrils, and the man became a living being. You are a body and a spirit and a soul and you are of tremendous value. When your wife calls you a dirt bag, she has a good point.
God made marriage Genesis 2:24a – "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife… "
God made it Primary. Your Primary relationship is married. First relationship is with parents, but primary relationship is marriage. If there is any opinion that carries more weight in your life than your mate’s then it is wrong and you are out of sorts with God.
God made it Permanent Genesis 2:24b – "and they shall become one flesh. Superglue. Molecular bonding.
United as one unique person. Joined as one person, whenever you say I do.
Also Malachi 2:14-15Yet you ask, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have acted treacherously against her, though she was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. 15 Didn’t the one [God]make [us]with a remnant of His life-breath? And what does the One seek? A godly offspring. So watch yourselves carefully, and do not act treacherously against the wife of your youth.
Most divorces world wide happen in Australia. We are doing wrong. We even build divorce into many marriage ceremonies, “until death do us part” no “Until our love dies.” “We shall not part as long as love shall last”
God’s Attitude Regarding Divorce “‘I hate divorcé,’ says the LORD God of Israel.” Mal. 2:16
VERY IMPORTANT: God hates divorce, God DOES NOT hate divorced people!
2. Man's continual problem – Matthew 19:3,7
Some Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command [us]to give divorce papers and to send her away?” It started wit Lamech taking a second wife
His mind is clouded – verse 4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, He hasn't read
2 schools of thought.. Shemmei school died 40 years before Jesus. Hard liner never divorce.
Hillell around In Jesus’ time.. any time you want you can get divorced. Whatever reason you can find trade them in for a new model.
We do the same we go ask people like Dr. Phil, who has been divorced… and we get the advice we want. Jesus
Jesus swept it all side, both sides and went right back to the beginning.
His heart is hard – verse 8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts.
He hasn't understood - Deuteronomy 24:1-5 “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house. 2 If after leaving his house she goes and becomes another man’s wife,
3 and the second man hates her, writes her a divorce certificate, hands it to her, and sends her away from his house or if he dies, 4 the first husband who sent her away may not marry her again after she has been defiled, because that would be detestable to the Lord. You must not bring guilt on the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. 5 “When a man takes a bride, he must not go out with the army or be liable for any duty. He is free [to stay]at home for one year, so that he can bring joy to the wife he has married.
Remedy for adultery execution. This bit of paper was for the woman so she didn’t have to go out and be a street walker.
Comedian W.C Fields reading bible looking for a loophole. They are corrupt. He looks for loopholes
3. God's gracious provision – Matthew 19:8-9
He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Divorce is not just dismissal it is like death – Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man is discovered having sexual relations with [another]man’s wife, both the man who had sex with the woman and the woman must die. You must purge the evil from Israel.
Only one time the death sentences enacted. When it was done flagrantly as a hit in the face of God.
Hopes die. Children’s hopes die. Unity dies. Fellowship with God dies.
Divorce is not the first option it is the last resort – verse 8 (it is permitted not commanded)
Divorce is not the best option (Remember King David and King Solomon). David committed adultery. Solomon a serial adulterer.. God is gracious. Divorce is a gracious option.
Divorce is not for any reason but only one reason – Matthew 19:9And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Mark 10:11 And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. 12 Also, if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and everyone who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house….” Dt. 24:1
· Concession not Commandment
· Permitted not Preferred
4. God's precious purpose – Matthew 19:13-15
Then children were brought to Him so He might put His hands on them and pray. But the disciples rebuked them. 14 Then Jesus said, “Leave the children alone, and don’t try to keep them from coming to Me, because the kingdom of heaven is made up of people like this.” 15 After putting His hands on them, He went on from there.
Families that get divorced have children who get divorced have children who get divorced etc.
Will your child or grand child have faith if you do this?
“‘Haven’t you read,’ He replied, ‘that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.’” Mt. 19:4-6
· Jesus Emphasized the Intention of Marriage
· Jesus Emphasized the Intimacy of Marriage
· Jesus Emphasized the Permanence of Marriage
· Jesus Emphasized the Exception Clause for Marriage
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Mt. 19
What about children? What about God's plan?
Malachi 2:15 – "But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth."
Remember: God's Grace – "where sin abounded grace abounded much more"!
