Grosey's Messages

Christianity is an individual thing.
We are converted one by one. We become members of God’s family by being born into it.
But when we are born again, we become members of a family. The church is likened to a Bride, a Building, a Flock and a Family.
In Every family there are People in the family and Problems in the family. The Lord tells us how to handle the People in the family of God and the problems in the family of God.
1. How to Handle The People In The Family of God.
a. There are in the family of God the Special members. Every member is special.
Older men The text literally reads “do not harshly or sharply rebuke an older man.”
In Galatians 6:1 when dealing with reproving a brethren Paul says, “… restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” The word “restore” means to mend or repair and was used in the New Testament of fisherman mending their nets. While the rebuke must be softened, it must not be silenced. Many a person would have been saved from defeat and destruction if someone had only spoken a rebuking word in time! On hospital beds and in prison cells I've heard many brokenhearted folk say, "This wouldn't have happened, if only I had been warned!" It's always wrong to silence the rebuke that should be spoken. But let it be spoken with sweetness.
Younger men
What are the marks of a brother's love for a brother? Brotherly love means that I recognize younger men as fellow believer, and that as a believer I want to promote his welfare. That although I may not always agree with him; that as a fellow believer I will always judge him charitably.
Patrick M. Morley suggests ten marks of brotherly love in his book, "The Man in the Mirror":
“When things turn sour you have these people to turn to with the problem. You can express honest thoughts to them without appearing foolish. They will let you talk through a concern without giving you advice. They are happy to be just a sounding board. They will risk your disapproval by suggesting that you are leaving your priorities. They are prepared to tell you that you are doing wrong. When you have fallen into sin you know they will stand by you. You know that together you are facing the future. If she is a woman you can share with her friend the struggles that are uniquely a woman's, while a man can share with his friend the struggles that are uniquely a man's. You can trust them implicitly so that if you share a confidence with them it stays confidential. When you appear vulnerable and weak to them they will think no less of you. You will sometimes end a time together with them by praying
Solomon wrote in Eccles. 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. (10) For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" (Provs. 17:17).
Older women
The Bible teaching is that we should have respect for older people. The 5th commandment is "Honour your Father and your Mother" (Ex 20.12). In the Book of Proverbs it says "Grey hair is a crown of splendour; it is attained by a righteous life." (16.31) and "The glory of young men is their strength, grey hair the splendour of the old" (20.29). It is interesting to find Paul telling Timothy not to treat these older people harshly, as if it were possible. Perhaps the culture in his day was not so unlike our own. A few years ago an English student nurse called Sheila Green conducted an experiment to find out what it was like to be old. With suitable clothes and makeup, a practised stooping gait helped by a brace, and adhesive tape wrapped round her feet, she disguised herself as an old woman. She dulled her hearing with ear plugs and impaired her vision with eyedrops. After carrying out a few of the tasks of everyday life, such as getting on a bus, going through a supermarket check out, waiting at an outpatients' department and shopping at a street market, she summed up her response at the way she was treated:
I felt alone, isolated, and at times, threatened and frightened. Most of all I was angry, angry that people do not notice other people's pain, anxiety and helplessness, and realise that they need help and patience rather than abuse. [Nursing Times 14-20 August 1991, in Being your Age, Michael Butler and Ann Orbach SPCK 1993]
Sheila Green returned to the same stores, market and bus queues, but this time as her normal self. She made the same mistakes, fumbled with her coins, but met with no abuse. She came to the conclusion that if people were feeling irritable or having a bad day, they felt safe taking it out on an elderly person - someone who was unlikely to have strength to hit back. This would seem to be a change in our culture, a moving from our Christian inheritance. Dr Alex Comfort describes ageism: the notion that people cease to be people, cease to be the same people or become people of a distant and inferior kind, by virtue of having lived a specified number of years.
He has the following 'would-be' profile of a member of this inferior race: He or she is white-haired, inactive, unemployed, making no demands on anyone, docile in putting up with loneliness, rip-offs of every kind and boredom, and able to live on a pittance. He or she...is slightly deficient in intellect, and tiresome to talk to...asexual, because old people are incapable of sexual activity, and it is unseemly if they are not. He or she is unemployable because old age is second childhood and everyone knows that the old make a mess of simple work...Their main occupations are religion, grumbling, reminiscing and attending the funerals of friends. [quoted in Butler and Orbach, p.5]
The Bible says we need to give proper respect to those who are retired. We don't have enough of the sense that the elders are the ones who have things to teach us. This generation of elders have experienced more change than any others in history. We need people with a sense of history, a sense of proportion.
Ecclesiastes 12: Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"-- before the sun and the light and the moon and the stars grow dark, and the clouds return after the rain; when the keepers of the house tremble, and the strong men stoop, when the grinders cease because they are few, and those looking through the windows grow dim; (Eccl 12.1-3)
We can contrast them with Psalm 92 verses 12-14: The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green,
Younger women Younger women are to be treated with “all purity” literally absolute purity that means never doing anything that would cause that person harm – mentally, spiritually or emotionally. It means being concerned that they continue to grow spiritually. Make sure there is no action towards the younger women in the church that might be construed as in any way immoral.
b. There are the suffering members. Vs 3-8
The Bible has much to say about widows. And we all need to listen to what it has to say because some of you will be widows at some stage, unless the Lord returns first, if we're not already, and many of us will have dependants who are widows. And indeed the first thing we need to note is that the Bible honours widows in a way which most cultures do not. As John Stott remarks: "Too often a married woman is defined only in relation to her husband. Then, if he dies, she loses not only her spouse but her social significance as well."But in the Bible widows, along with orphans and aliens, are valued for who they are in themselves and are to be honoured, protected and cared for. In Psalm 68:5 God is described as a 'defender of widows'. In Exodus 22:22 his people are commanded to be the same: Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. My anger will be aroused…
Jesus honoured and was compassionate towards widows throughout the Gospels. In Luke 7:11-12 Jesus restored to life the only son of the widow of Nain. In Luke 18 Jesus commended the persistence of the widow who pursued the unjust judge until he acted. In Mark 12, which was our Gospel reading, Jesus commended the generosity of the poor widow who gave all she had. Also in Mark 12 Jesus warned that those like the scribes, who devour widows houses while at the same time showing off how religious they are, will be punished most severely. The Bible says, "learn first to show piety at home." Yes, they say, "charity begins at home!" So does the Christian life. There was a man who had been demon-possessed for a long time. Homeless and naked, he lived in a cemetery among the tombs. But he met the Lord Jesus and was cured and converted. Then he begged, "Let me go with You." But Jesus said, "Go back to your family and tell them what a wonderful thing God has done for you." It was at home that he was to show the change and to tell how it happened, and that was first of all.
The widows responsibility for herself.
The relatives responsibility
God wrote on the tablet of stone, "Honour your mother," and that tablet was put in the ark of the covenant in the Holy of Holies. Everyone is to treat his or her mother with honour. We honour our parents because they are made in the image of God. We honour our parents because the law of God requires it. We honour our parents for their office as the ones who brought us into the world. You were given birth and life and nurture. Hours of toil were bestowed upon you, innumerable sacrifices were made for you every week. Honour your mother! Look first of all at v4. Paul writes:
But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God.
Children or grandchildren of widows are to put their religion into practice by caring for them, including financial support if necessary. It is a way of repaying their parents and grandparents who cared for them when they were young and it is pleasing to God. God commands us to honour our parents and says that he has a concern for widows. His people are to obey his commands and share his concerns.Look secondly at v8. If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, [he sinks below the level of pagans]; he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
Do any of us need to wake up to what Paul is saying? We are to express the faith, not deny the faith. And in an age when the average age of the population continues to rise this is an important issue. Verse 8 tells us that it is a fundamental Christian duty to provide for our relatives. As someone has said: "This is a plain biblical warrant for a life assurance policy." For a life assurance policy is only a self-imposed savings plan for the benefit of our dependants when we die. I've heard some Christians say that we should just trust God about such matters. Well we should trust God but in Matthew 6 Jesus prohibited worry not prudence. So if we have dependants we should take out a life assurance policy. AMP was brought into existence by a Christian man: Short, who got the idea of proviing against unemployment or aged or disabilities by providing the selling of life assurance so that widows or orphans would be provided for. And while we're on finance we should all also have a will that provides for dependants and for gospel ministry.Believers are to spare the church an unnecessary burden by providing for their relatives. Look at v16:
If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.
The church’s responsibility
Well let's now move on to v9-15 where we come to a different issue regarding widows - those who are eligible to be put on a list for 'accountable', 'official' or 'accredited' church ministry and those who are not eligible.
c. There are the serving members in the family.
a. The widows guild The list of widows. Now some take this list of widows to be referring to those who are eligible for financial provision. But it would appear that some different qualifications apply to v9-15 compared with v3-8. For example, v9-15 includes an age criterion. Later in the early church the 'registered widows' gave themselves to prayer, nursed the sick, visited Christians in prison, evangelised and prepared women for baptism. Yes there would have been some overlap between widows in v3-8 and v9-15 but I believe that verses 9-10 make it quite clear that Paul is not writing here about a list of widows needing support but about a list of widows capable of offering service. You see loss does not equate with uselessness. Look at those verses and note the three qualifications for being on the list. Paul writes: No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty [so the first qualification is seniority and the fact that she is therefore unlikely to marry again (and notice no retirement from Christian work at 60!), the second qualification is that she must have] … been faithful to her husband, and [thirdly] is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.
Such humble, unselfish and costly service would qualify a registered widow to undertake similar ministries to an accredited church worker. She would also need to take a decision to remain unmarried, indeed as we can see from v12, she would need to make a 'pledge' to do so and so be fully available for service. So widows are not just to receive but also to give.
b. The Pastoral guide. Don't neglect your pastor. If he worries about keeping his family fed because of your neglect as a church, he will not be able to feed you adequately spiritually. And do you think the Lord will bless your family with salvation if you cannot bless his family with basic necessities?
2. How to Handle The Problems In The Family of God.
Paul highlights several problems that occur in churches. There may be the problems of selfishness and sin. Younger widows are exhorted to marry lest they become idle and gossipers. In any church the problem of malicious gossip can be healed when women give themselves to godly priorities. There is the problem of sinfulness ion the church. Not even church leaders are immune from sinful propensities, and may sometimes need private reproof, and even public reproof when necessary. There is also the problem of hidden sins. Paul remoinds believers that what is covered up, the LORD MAY SOON BRING TO LIGHT.

"Some men's sins are open beforehand," says the Bible, "going before to judgment." My heart goes out to the alcoholic. I don't censor him, neither do I condone his sin, but I do have compassion for him. But as he staggers down the street, his sin is seen. It's going before him to judgment. Just this morning I saw a man without any moral restraints. He wallows in wickedness. Anybody can see his sins. He bears them in his body. They're going before him to judgment. Others may be just as shameful and sinful, just as godless and graceless along other lines, but their badness doesn't affect their bodies to any great extent. So they can hide them. But they're not forgotten. For the Bible says, "they follow after." In the early days of our Republic, men and women were required by law to wear a letter made from scarlet cloth revealing the sin they committed. An adulterer wore the letter A; a drunkard, the letter D; a forger, the letter F; the rapist, the letter R; and the thief, the letter T. That law has been repealed, but don't think that you're not marked! In God's sight you wear your letter. Suppose He caused it to appear this moment. What would it be? "Oh," you say, "that's impossible!" But the Bible says, "There is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known." What a dreadful day that will be when you stand before God and man to have all your sins revealed!
But here's good news! If you face your sins now, you won't have to face them then. Confess them, and you'll be cleansed. Queen Victoria visited a paper mill, and on seeing filthy rags, asked, "How can these dirty rags ever be made white and pure?" "I have a chemical process," answered the superintendent, "by which I can remove all the uncleanness and make them immaculately white." A few weeks later the Queen found some beautiful writing paper on her desk, bearing the note: "Will Her Majesty be pleased to accept a specimen of my paper, with the assurance that every sheet was manufactured out of the dirty rags which she saw? Will Her Majesty allow me to say I can understand now how Christ can make the vilest sinner clean - whiter than snow - though his sin be as scarlet?"
But let's look at the other side. It's written in 1st Timothy 5:25, "Likewise also the good works of some are manifest beforehand." There are those who delight in doing good deeds. Many have seen their good works and have glorified God. They have won the praise of man. But there are some who work behind the scene. These prayer partners have never been praised. These timid toilers have never been thanked. What of them? The Bible says, "Even when they can't be seen, they can't stay hidden." Everything done for the Lord Jesus is recorded, and will be rewarded. He recorded the helpful heart that gave all, even though it was but two mites. He recorded the grateful heart of the cleansed man who returned to give thanks. He even recorded the desire of David to build the temple, and He put the building down to his credit, although he didn't build it. He gave as much reward to the prophet's host as He did to the prophet himself. And when you give a cup of water to one of His own, He puts it down as being given to Himself.
"Our labor and our pleasure, be this, to do His will,
To use our little measure, in loving service still.
The cup of water given for Him, will find reward
Both now, and soon in heaven, remembered by the Lord."
"Lord, may Thy love constrain us, through all the 'little while;'
Nor fear of man restrain us, nor love of praise beguile;
Thus, till Thy glorious coming, enough, O Lord, if we
Then hear Thy voice approving aught we have done for Thee."