Monday, February 23, 2026
When I Survey Galatians 6
But as for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through the cross, and I to the world.
the strains of the beautiful hymn, When I survey, nearly melted me to tears before the waiting workers. Think about these words.
"When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the Prince of Glory died, "
I seem to see before the eyes of my heart the very dying form of One who suffered there for me.
The Prince Of Glory. Lord. Creator. Second person of the Trinity! God incarnate.
Sometimes I have wondered, "How Could God ever forgive those men that nailed His Son to the cross?"
The Lord Jesus prayed for them "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."
His prayer was answered, we read in Acts 6 where many of the jewish priests became obedient to the faith Acts 6:7 And the word of God increased; and the number of the disciples multiplied in Jerusalem greatly; and a great company of the priests were obedient to the faith.
How could God forgive those men who nailed His Son to the cross?
How could God forgive men for whose sins His Son was nailed to the cross?
See, from his head, his hands, his feet, sorrow and love flow mingled down.
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet, or thorns compose so rich a crown.
How could God forgive me?
When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of Glory died,
My riches gain I count but loss and pour contempt on all my pride.
The cross speaks of God's grace. This communion table with bread and grape juice speaks of God's grace.
1. The Condition Which Grace Meets.
But as for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through the cross, and I to the world.
Boast in the Priority of the cross
Boast in the centrality of the cross
Boat in the Mercy of the cross
s this not the very condition in which God's Amazing grace found us?
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found was blind but now I see.
Twas grace that taught my heart to fear.
It was right that we should fear God because of our sins. It was our sins that were so grievous to God.
We were away from God. We were Afraid of God. We were Antagonistic towards God!
And how the devil blinded us to the fact of God's great love and purpose towards us in the Lord Jesus Christ.
"And grace my fears relieved.. how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed."
Romans 5:8 says. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 2 Cor 4:4 says But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: 4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them. 5 For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake. 6 For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.
2. The Salvation Which Grace Ministers.
But as for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through the cross, and I to the world.
It was a mark of acceptance
Romans 5:9 For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. 11 And not only so, but we also joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have now received the atonement.
It was also a mark of assurance.
We come only by invitation: his invitation.
We do not come because we are pure. We come because we want to be pure. We do not come because we are innocent. We come because we want to be innocent. It is a measure of our acceptance that in spite of our spiritual awkwardness and our great limitations, he invites us still. In that acceptance, there is the blessed assurance that Jesus is ours.
There is also a sense of abasement here.
3. The Response Which Grace Merits.
Boast in the victory of the cross
But as for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through the cross, and I to the world.
Just two hundred years ago, Stenberg at Dusseldorf painted his Gipsy Girl. As his model posed upon the dais, her black eyes wandered round the studio. They were arrested by an altarpiece painted for Father Hugo of the Church of Saint Jerome – a representation of the thorn-crowned face of Jesus. When the gipsy stepped down from her platform, she begged the artist to explain the picture to her. He tried, but found it difficult; for the thought of Christ stirred no profound emotion within him. When he had finished, the girl remarked simply: 'You must love Him very much, Signor, when He has done all that for you!'
The artless words pierced the painter's soul. They filled him with shame, for, in point of fact, he did not love Christ at all. But he soon did. And, when he did, he painted another picture – a picture of the Christ he now adored. Underneath the thorn-crowned face on the new canvas he inscribed the words:
All this I did for thee;
What hast thou done for Me?
He then presented it to the public gallery at Dusseldorf. And one day Count Zinzendorf was among the visitors who stood before it. Young, rich, gay and impressionable, the picture powerfully appealed to him, whilst the question beneath it rang through his soul like a challenge. It was a challenge, and he accepted it. He went out to serve his Saviour. He became the founder of Moravian Missions. Within a few months missionaries were sent to the Esquimaux and to the people of the West Indies. In a year or two, evangelists of the Cross were dispatched to all parts of the world. The Moravian Brethren became, in 1738, the means of the conversion of John Wesley, and thus the amazing revival of the eighteenth century was initiated. The Cross had shattered the indolent monotony of Zinzendorf's life. He became a new man; the Church became a new Church; the world became a New World! The soul-stirring challenge had been accepted: the great escape had been made: and, as long as the world endures, men will rejoice in the sensational developments that followed.
F W. Ballroom, 'The Squirrel's Dream,' A Witch's Brewing (London: The Epworth Press, 1932), 98 to 99.
Saturday, February 21, 2026
Pray without ceasing by HB Charles. Sermons I wish I’d preached
Friday, February 20, 2026
Forget
Responding to Injury by Bill Elliff
It happens to all of us. Someone does or says something that hurts. It can be legitimate or illegitimate… true or a little truth laced with lies. Or it could be completely wrong and fully dishonest. Whatever it is that is said or done, it hurts. They may know what they did and even had done it with malice or be completely oblivious.
OUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE
Anger is the normal response. There is a righteous anger that can be needed at times. But for most of us, that's not our problem. We respond with anger because we're hurt, our "rights" are trampled, we're misunderstood, misrepresented, or marginalized.
The tragedy is that anger accomplishes nothing of value. In fact, it usually drives us to harsh words and reactions, which just stir up further strife. Done often enough, it creates patterns that become a sad part of our character.
THE WISE RESPONSE
Solomon made an observation about how wise men and women respond when offended.
A person's insight gives him patience, and his virtue is to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11).
There are reasons why people do things that offend us. God is interested in what is behind the offense. And, if we are interested in letting God lead in the situation, we will be too. He reminds us that if we have discernment and insight, it will lead us to patience and to overlook and quickly forgive a transgression done to us.
Here are some "discernment" questions we might ask when offended that would slow us down from a quick, foolish response.
• What is behind what they just did that offended?
• Are they hurt, and if so, why? How can I minister to their hurt?
• Did I cause their hurt by anything I have said or done that needs to be recognized and repented of? Do I need to clear my conscience with them and God for what I've done?
• Will any good come from my retaliating? Striking back? Defending myself?
• Has my quick anger ever helped such situations in the past? Why do I think it would be a good response now?
• Why should I not be willing to be offended, just as Christ was "and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously" (1 Peter 2:23)
The next time you are offended—by anyone or anything—pause and pray for discernment, for insight before you respond. You might pray like this:
Father, You live in me. I gladly surrender control to You right now. Fill me with Yourself and help me respond rightly. Give me wisdom and insight into what is going on in their lives. Show me their pain and hurt that is causing them to react in this way. If I have wronged them, give me quick repentance and an immediate willingness to clear my conscience. And Father, right now,
I choose forgiveness, made possible by Your grace. I will not write this in the ledger book of my heart, and I release them from any debt I think they owe me. I forgive them because You have forgiven me for far more. Flood my heart with Your love by the Holy Spirit. Here is my body to do whatever Your love directs.
Job by Swindoll
It's in these very moments—when human answers fail—that God often does His most beautiful work. The impossible becomes His canvas.
Job's life gives us a rare glimpse behind heaven's veil. A man God Himself described as "blameless and upright, fearing God and turning away from evil."
His authentic faith was tested through unimaginable loss—home destroyed, family perished, health ruined, finances wiped out, reputation questioned.
What if God were describing you to Satan right now? What words would He use?
Through his long journey of questions and struggles, Job finally resolved: "I accept what God has sent. I have accepted good, now I accept adversity."
Read that once more. Acceptance became his anchor.
Like someone shaping clay on a potter's wheel, God was forming something beautiful through Job's suffering—something that could emerge no other way.
Job's Three-Dimensional Trust
He looked UP and was comforted by God's sovereignty—seeing beyond God's actions to His heart.
He looked AHEAD and was reminded of God's promise—"I know that my Redeemer lives" (Job 19:25).
He looked WITHIN and was shaped by God's instruction—surrendering himself to God "as never before."
My friend, if your days have been punctuated by difficulties and nights feel endless, remember: your Savior knows your breaking point.
The bruising, crushing, and melting are designed to reshape you, not ruin you. He's the Potter, remember, and you're the clay.
Your strength increases the longer He lingers over you.
What "unsolvable problem" might actually be the very platform on which God wants to do His best work in your life today?
Preaching action by Sam Chan
There's a popular contemporary Christian worship song called "My Lighthouse" by Rend Collective. While it features a catchy chorus, the song has divided some churches over a fundamental question: Is it acceptable to call Jesus a "lighthouse" if the Bible never explicitly uses that term?
Usually, this question is framed within the debate about what's "allowed" or "forbidden" in worship (regulative principle versus normative principle). Worship wars aside, if we look at this question through the lens of communication––specifically speech act theory (SAT), as I'll discuss below––the question becomes whether the image of a lighthouse accurately captures the action God is performing in Scripture.
The challenge is moving from one to the other. Historical-grammatical tools help us understand what the text said, but how do we know what it is saying to a contemporary audience?
When preachers are afraid to move beyond the literal words of the text, they can fall into what Kevin Vanhoozer has called the "heresy of propositional paraphrase"—simply repeating what a commentary says without ever moving the heart. It's exposition without exhortation.
Relying solely on propositional information is often "left-brained" (as Iain McGilchrist might say) and can be elitist, mirroring university-style lectures that many in a post-Christendom context find difficult to engage. Today's audiences (as in many other times and places) are shaped by stories, music, drama, and emotion—not just facts and data.
If one goal of preaching is to challenge and change the audience's character and behavior, then we must reach the heart. As someone once summarized Thomas Cranmer's famous words: "What the heart loves, the will chooses, and the mind justifies." To reach the heart, we need imagination, anecdotes, and stories.
But where's our warrant to do this? This is where SAT can be a useful tool for preachers. SAT provides a pathway through the preaching wars by showing that the distinction between meaning (exposition) and significance (exhortation) is a false dichotomy.
Speech Act Theory and Preaching
What is SAT? When I was working on a PhD (and later a book) on preaching, I learned how SAT posits that when someone speaks, he isn't just conveying information; he's performing an action. There are three aspects to any communication:
1. Locution: the propositional idea being communicated (the literal words).
2. Illocution: the communicative act being performed—such as a command, a promise, a warning, a rebuke, a pronouncement, or an encouragement.
3. Perlocution: the speaker's intended outcome.
In the history of SAT, the final aspect, perlocution, is contentious (how much can the speaker control the outcome?). So for our purposes, let's consider only locution and illocution.
For example, if a sign says "Wet paint," the locution is the information that the paint isn't dry. But the illocution is a warning: "Don't sit on this bench!" If you only understand the information but sit on the bench anyway, you haven't truly understood the speech act.
Similarly, if a person in a movie theater shouts "Fire!" the locution is communicating the proposition that a fire exists. But the illocution is an appeal to leave the building. If you only acknowledge the fact that there's a fire but do nothing to remove yourself from the theater, then you've not only failed to grasp what the speaker said but also put your life in danger.
To offer one more example, when a wife asks her husband, "Are you wearing that shirt?" the locution is the propositional idea that the man is wearing a shirt. The illocution, however, is an implicit request that the husband find a different shirt to wear.
What's the payoff for preaching from these scenarios? First, communication isn't less than propositional ideas, but there's always more going on than just conveying information. Locution is always attended by illocution. Therefore, it's necessary for the listener to correctly grasp not just the information being said but also the action being communicated.
For listeners to do this well, they need to pick up on more than just the words. Tone of voice, hand gestures, pictures, or other visual aids are useful in getting the message across.
Preaching the Illocution
With SAT as our guide, we see how exposition and exhortation are connected. Preachers need not choose between communicating a text's meaning or a text's significance. There's always application, because there's always illocution.
The preacher's communication should mirror God's communication. The preacher must ask, "What action is God performing in the text?" in order to understand the proper illocution. Locating God's action in a passage becomes an essential element of sermon preparation: Is God rebuking? Is he comforting? Is he promising?
Because his task is to recreate the text's action, the preacher is granted the freedom to move beyond the literal words of the passage. To convey a "warning" effectively to a modern audience, he might use a modern-day illustration or a cautionary tale. Or he might use humor or a specific metaphor (like a "lighthouse") to evoke the same sense of guidance and safety found in the biblical text. Moreover, the preacher may also use his body in addition to his words, employing hand gestures or emotional tone to reinforce the message's urgency.
Preacher as Ambassador
Some fear that using imagination makes the sermon about the finite, flawed human preacher rather than the infinite, perfect divine Word. However, God has always worked through human agents and natural means. God parted the Red Sea through the physical act of Moses raising his staff and hand over the water (Ex. 14:16). God inspired Scripture through the distinct personalities, idioms, and metaphors of human authors (2 Pet. 1:21).
To be fair, there are some words of caution that I should give around selecting and using illustrations in preaching. First, good illustrations lead people into the text being preached, rather than distracting from it. They provide a "way in" to a passage that may be hard to access because of things like historical context or cultural differences. Second, illustrations should have a point to them. They should be used to emphasize the main idea of the text. Stories that are tangential or self-referential may be interesting, but may not be ultimately helpful or edifying. Third, when using illustrations from your personal life, use wisdom on how you portray yourself. There's a temptation to be too self-deprecating on the one hand and to be viewed as the "hero" of the story on the other. Don't embellish the story by saying too much or too little about yourself. Remember that the goal of preaching isn't to put yourself on display, but Christ.
As "ambassadors for Christ" (2 Cor. 5:20), preachers are commissioned to speak on his behalf. In doing so, Christ speaks (the divine, supernatural personal agent) through human preachers with their distinct personalities (the finite, human personal agents) as they use explanation, illustrations, idioms, metaphors, humor, emotions, stories, anecdotes, and imagination (natural instrumental means).
Deep down, we're creatures of imagination and emotion. We see evidence of this in the Bible's songs, poems, and psalms. We also see it in the worlds of imagination our contemporary worship songs draw us into. But can we do the same with contemporary expository preaching? Can it be called "expository" preaching if we accommodate the imaginations, stories, and emotions of the finite human preacher?
The answer is yes. Expository preaching's aim has always been to preach both exposition and exhortation, explanation and application. By employing speech act theory, we see that expository preaching isn't just about repeating propositional facts. It's about using every imaginative tool available to ensure the action of God's Word is felt and understood today.
Whether we call God a "lighthouse" or use a modern anecdote, our goal is to be true to the text's intent while being true to the audience's need for a transformed heart.
From Steve Grose
Many years ago a dear friend Dr. Tom Elliff sat down with me over the green breakfast bench in our kitchen in Sydney. "Never make a point without an explanation, an illustration and an application. Also, engage the congregation with eye contact, so don't read your sermons, preach them."
Wednesday, February 18, 2026
Acts 16 closed doors and open doors
And they went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. [7] And when they had come up to Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them. [8] So, passing by Mysia, they went down to Troas. [9] And a vision appeared to Paul in the night: a man of Macedonia was standing there, urging him and saying, "Come over to Macedonia and help us." [10] And when Paul had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go on into Macedonia, concluding that God had called us to preach the gospel to them. [11] So, setting sail from Troas, we made a direct voyage to Samothrace, and the following day to Neapolis, [12] and from there to Philippi, which is a leading city of the district of Macedonia and a Roman colony. We remained in this city some days. [13] And on the Sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed there was a place of prayer, and we sat down and spoke to the women who had come together. [14] One who heard us was a woman named Lydia, from the city of Thyatira, a seller of purple goods, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to pay attention to what was said by Paul. [15] And after she was baptized, and her household as well, she urged us, saying, "If you have judged me to be faithful to the Lord, come to my house and stay." And she prevailed upon us.
Chuck Swindoll writes
When a door closes, we often spiral into questions: Did I miss something? Did I fail? Is God punishing me?
Chuck Swindoll offers four truths that completely reframe how we see closed doors:
1. God is sovereign on both sides of the door. He's not just in control of what's behind you—He's already working in what's ahead. You're never outside His care.
2. God takes full responsibility for the results. When He closes a door, He owns the outcome. Your job isn't to force it open or live in regret—it's to trust the One who holds the keys.
3. The closed door leads to something better. That "good opportunity" you lost? God's redirecting you to an even better one. His 'no' always makes room for a greater 'yes.'
4. You'll only understand looking back. Not until you walk through the open door and look back will you see why the other doors had to close. Hindsight reveals what faith couldn't see in the moment.
Friend, that closed door isn't random. It's intentional. It's protective. It's part of a plan far better than the one you mapped out.
Truth.
Matt 7. The Two Ways
Jesus, as a master artist, portrays two people as they journey through time into eternity. He employs the medium of word pictures to convey these concepts on the canvas of your mind. Jesus said, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it (Matthew 7:13-14). Note several things in these verses.
First, there is a portal of entry. Jesus begins, "Enter by the narrow gate" and later He refers to those who "go in by [the wide gate]." These days we hear about college athletes entering the transfer portal. Someone explains, "The portal was designed to simplify the complicated process of players unhappy at their current schools finding a new program and a new coach." Charles H. Spurgeon said, "Hell has many gates, though heaven has but one." Is the gate you entered narrow or wide?
Second, there is a portent to everyone. Jesus gives this portent to all. A "portent" is "a sign or warning of something momentous or calamitous." It involves something of a future significance. For example, "red sky in the morning" can be a portent of a coming storm, as well as "red sky at night" can be a portent of a clearing sky the following day. Jesus states, "broad is the way" as opposed to "difficult is the way." Thus, there are only two ways. These poetic words from John Oxenham come to mind:
"To every man there openeth a way, and ways, and a way,
And the high soul climbs the high way,
And the low soul gropes the low.
And in between, on the misty flats,
the rest drift to and fro.
But to every man there openeth a high way and a low;
And every man decideth the way his soul shall go."
Third, there is a portion for eternity. Jesus further explains, "wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it" and "narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." Will your portion for eternity be in heaven or in hell?
Someone said, "When people gossip about you and say, 'He takes Jesus and the Bible way too seriously.' You're on the right path and it's a narrow one." J. C. Ryle said, "If friends will not walk in the narrow way with us, we must not walk in the broad way to please them. Health is not infectious, but disease is." Warren W. Wiersbe warns, "False teachers make the way easy and popular; if you truly follow Jesus, you pay a price and the way sometimes becomes lonely."
In this portrait of two people, which one are you?
Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey, Author of Don't Miss the Revival! Messages for Revival and Spiritual Awakening from Isaiah and
Sound Biblical Preaching: Giving the Bible a Voice [Both available on Logos and Amazon] January 31, 2023 © All Rights Reserved
Friday, February 13, 2026
Pressed
Pressed out of measure and pressed to all length;
Pressed so intensely, it seems beyond strength;
Pressed in the body, and pressed in the soul;
Pressed in the mind, till the dark surges roll.
Pressure by foes, and pressure by friends--
Pressure on pressure, till life nearly ends.
Pressed into knowing no helper but God;
Pressed into loving the staff and the rod.
Pressed into liberty where nothing clings;
Pressed into faith for impossible things.
Pressed into tasting the joy of the Lord;
Pressed into loving a Christlife outpoured.
Heart psalm 139
Recently, I found "My Heart Check," a free online heart health check provided by the Heart Foundation. There are certain things to consider related to the condition of your heart in a physical sense and the same is true in a spiritual sense. 1 Samuel 16:7b reads, "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Acts 13:22b reads, "[God] gave testimony and said, 'I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My own heart, who will do all My will.'" David's son, Solomon, writes in Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life." Let's look at three issues in 1 Chronicles 29 that reveal much about the condition of your heart.
First, there is the issue of worship. Note David's desire for the house of God (1 Chronicles 29:1-9). Not only did he desire to be there (Psalm 27:4), he desired for it to be better than his palace (2 Samuel 7:1-17). While God declined his offer to build a new temple, He did allow David to provide materials for the new place of worship. It is estimated that David's gift to build the temple was $450 million in silver and $17 billion in gold, not to mention the other things he gave. He challenged others to give, and they too willingly gave with great generosity. John W. Everett cautions, "Carnal men are content with the 'act' of worship; they have no desire for communion with God."
Second, there is the issue of ownership. Note David's declaration of the honor of God (1 Chronicles 29:10-16). This prayer of David provides a great perspective. For example, David prays, "Yours, O Lord, is the greatness, The power and the glory, The victory and the majesty; For all that is in heaven and in earth is Yours; Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, And You are exalted as head over all" (1 Chronicles 29:11). Asaph presents God's word to Israel in Psalm 50:12b, "For the world is Mine, and all its fullness."
Third, there is the issue of stewardship. Note David's dedication through the hope of God (1 Chronicles 29:17-20). The hope David expresses is a confident expectation that God will bless and reward those who trust in Him. Stewardship is a matter of the heart as it is a test. 1 Corinthians 4:2 reads, "Moreover it is required in stewards that one be found faithful." Each believer will give an account of his or her stewardship. It should be our desire to receive the Lord's commendation as a good and faithful steward.
Dear believer it is important to pray with David, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting" (Psalm 139:23-24). May you settle these issues in your heart!
Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey, Author of Don't Miss the Revival! Messages for Revival and Spiritual Awakening from Isaiah and
Sound Biblical Preaching: Giving the Bible a Voice [Both available on Logos and Amazon]
February 7, 2024 © All Rights Reserved
Thursday, February 12, 2026
Division by Bill Elliff
Some people naively believe that everyone should be united, that we should all just "get along" regardless of the issues involved. But they fail to understand the nature of spiritual disunity.
IN THE BEGINNING
… of the church, right after Christ had ascended and the fledgling church had begun, we see this division in Acts 14.
1 In Iconium they entered the synagogue of the Jews together, and spoke in such a manner that a large number of people believed, both of Jews and of Greeks.
2 But the Jews who disbelieved stirred up the minds of the Gentiles and embittered them against the brethren.
3 Therefore they spent a long time there speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord, who was testifying to the word of His grace, granting that signs and wonders be done by their hands.
4 But the people of the city were divided; and some sided with the Jews, and some with the apostles.
Paul and Barnabas went to the religious establishment (the synagogue) to preach the gospel. Some believed in Christ, but others did not. The control and comfort that the unbelieving were experiencing was naturally upended by these gospel preachers and those who turned to Christ, and so the natural response of the unbelieving was to try to silence and destroy them, just as the Pharisees had done with Jesus.
They "stirred up the minds" of the people and "embittered them" (one translation says "poisoned them") against the missionaries. Ultimately, they continued to persecute the messengers until they ran them out of the city. Later in the same chapter, you will read that they followed them to another town and gossiped and slandered so effectively that it led to Paul being stoned by the locals and left for dead.
WHAT IS THE LESSON?
When you see a small group of people—even in a church—stirring up the minds of people against humble, godly pastors or spiritual leaders, beware. Evaluate carefully, for they may be "so-called" believers, but merely unbelieving people who love their control and comfort. Jesus warned that there would be "tares" sown among the true wheat.
Religious unbelievers don't like to be challenged and will resort to almost any means to silence those who threaten their way of life. I've been on the blunt end of this in my past. I've received death threats. My wife once received a letter from a deacon's wife, telling her that she was praying that our children would die. Such behavior does not come from a genuine follower of Christ who is just "concerned about their church."
Sometimes good leaders must lead in such a way that it challenges and upsets the sleepy repose of a church, but such a challenge is necessary to bring the church to life again. Churches can be under the grip of the Enemy and those who challenge this control will arouse his ire and devices. Those who love Christ will rejoice that someone is finally leading biblically. Others will not, and division ensues.
SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
Be wise. Be prayerful. "As far as it lies within you be at peace with all men," as Paul says (Romans 12:18). Give your forgiveness current. Don't be arrogant as a leader assuming you're always right. You might be making some rookie mistakes. But also, don't be naïve about the Enemy's tactics.
Don't avoid all conflict when confrontation is necessary. Let your pipeline be to heaven in unceasing prayer. Listen to your Great Pastor and follow His lead, regardless of the outcome.
If you are doing what God desires, continue to follow the courageous disciples' example, like millions of believers have done through the ages.
Therefore, they spent a long time there speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord," (Acts 14:3)
Continue to lead for the sake of all those who are willing to hear and believe God's Word and follow Him. It is a noble thing to help redeem a church for the glory of God. You might get stoned in the process, but you will hear a "well done" from on High, and those who love Christ will follow with grateful hearts.
Final Cut off
You'd think they'd just leave. That when they're done with you, they'd walk away quietly and move on. But narcissists don't operate that way. They can't just end things and go. Because leaving isn't enough for them—they need to destroy you on the way out. They need to make sure that even after they're gone, you're still dealing with the damage they caused.
So here's what they do right before cutting you off: they destroy your reputation. They launch a final, comprehensive smear campaign designed to ensure that when you're no longer together, no one believes your side of the story. They poison every mutual connection against you. They tell lies so convincing that people who've known you for years start questioning your character.
They paint themselves as the victim and you as the abuser. They take every private vulnerability you shared and weaponize it publicly. They twist every argument, every reaction, every moment of you defending yourself into evidence that you were the problem all along. They rewrite the entire history of your relationship so thoroughly that even you start doubting your own memory.
And they do it preemptively. Before you even know they're leaving. Before you have a chance to tell your side. Because they know that whoever controls the narrative first usually controls it permanently. So while you're still trying to make the relationship work, still hoping things will get better, still giving them chances—they're already telling everyone you're crazy, toxic, abusive, the reason everything fell apart.
Then they cut you off. Cold. Complete. No explanation. No closure. Just gone. And you're left not just heartbroken, but also defending yourself against lies you didn't even know were being spread. Fighting for your reputation with people who've already decided you're guilty. Trying to explain what really happened to an audience that's been thoroughly convinced of a completely different story.
This is the discard phase at its cruelest. Not just leaving, but scorched earth. Making sure you can't recover easily. Making sure mutual friends pick sides—their side. Making sure your reputation is so damaged that even if you try to speak up, no one believes you. Making sure you're isolated, discredited, and dealing with the aftermath of their lies while they move on unbothered to their next victim.
And here's the most insidious part: they do all of this while still pretending everything's fine with you. They're telling people you're unstable while texting you "I love you." They're spreading rumors about your behavior while acting normal to your face. They're building their exit strategy and destroying your credibility while you're completely unaware it's even happening.
So when they finally cut you off, when they finally discard you and disappear—you're blindsided. Not just by the loss of the relationship, but by discovering that while you were fighting for them, they were fighting against you. While you were trying to make it work, they were making sure everyone thought you were the reason it didn't.
The last thing a narcissist does before cutting you off is destroy your reputation so thoroughly that you can't recover easily, can't get support from mutual connections, can't tell your truth without being labeled as bitter or vindictive. They make sure their exit is clean and yours is catastrophic.
So if you notice they're suddenly very concerned with how they look to others, if they're painting themselves as long-suffering and you as difficult, if they're sharing "concerns" about you with mutual friends—the discard is coming. They're preparing the narrative. And by the time they actually leave, the damage will already be done.
Protect yourself. Document everything. Don't share vulnerabilities they can weaponize. Build support systems outside your mutual circle. Because if a narcissist is going to leave, they're not just going to leave—they're going to make sure you pay for it first.
The last thing they do before cutting you off is making sure everyone thinks cutting you off was the right decision. Don't let them control that narrative. Your truth matters. Even if it takes time for people to see it.
Joseph
Joseph enjoyed a blissful situation for his first seventeen years of life. His doting father gave him special privileges signified by his multicolored coat. Then suddenly, Joseph entered a black situation not of his own choosing but through the evil act of his brothers who hated him. After thirteen years of separation from his father and his favorite son status, Joseph encountered a blessed situation that was a blessing to his father, who thought he was dead, and to his entire family. Without forgiveness, it never would have happened. What can we learn from Joseph about forgiveness? Here are three snap shots from some of his darkest days.
First, see Joseph forging purposefully ahead with God's attendance. Joseph did not give up. In Genesis 39:2 we read, "The Lord was with Joseph." Joseph was still a man on a mission. When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce Joseph, note how he responded in Genesis 39:8-9, "But he refused and said to his master's wife, 'Look, my master does not know what is with me in the house, and he has committed all that he has to my hand. There is no one greater in this house than I, nor has he kept back anything from me but you, because you are his wife. How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?'"
Second, see Joseph forgetting painful anguish with God's assistance. As time passed Joseph married and had two sons. In Genesis 41:51 we read, "Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: 'For God has made me forget all my toil and all my father's house.'" Notice it was God who made Joseph forget the painful memory. Dr. Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667) explains, "It is impossible for that man to despair who remembers that his Helper is omnipotent."
Third, see Joseph forgoing personal avengement with God's acceptance. Joseph came to understand that God was in it all. His acceptance with God helped him deal with the rejection of his brothers. He knew it was not his place to take revenge on his brothers. He trusted God to take care of these things. He understood his mandate from God did not involve personal avengement. Genesis 50:19-20 reads, "Joseph said to them, 'Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God? But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.'" Romans 12:19 reads, "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord."
This chapter in Joseph's life can be characterized as putting a face on forgiveness. While it is good to recall the account of Joseph and his forgiveness, what about you? Will you put a face on forgiveness? Let the reflection in your mirror tell its story. Who knows the blessing it will bring?
Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey, Author of Don't Miss the Revival! Messages for Revival and Spiritual Awakening from Isaiah and
Sound Biblical Preaching: Giving the Bible a Voice [Both available on Amazon] February 3, 2023 © All Rights Reserved
Baiting and lies
They provoke you intentionally—through subtle digs, blatant disrespect, lies, or by twisting your words—until you naturally react. Then, the moment you express hurt, frustration, or anger, they flip the script. Suddenly you're "too sensitive," "crazy," "overreacting," or "the problem." What they engineered becomes your fault.
This cycle is designed to destabilize you. First comes the push. Then comes your emotional response. Then comes the blame and humiliation. Over time, this pattern can make you question your own perceptions and feel ashamed for having completely normal reactions to mistreatment. That confusion is not accidental—it's the point.
By making your anger the focus instead of their behavior, they avoid accountability and maintain control. They get to provoke you and then stand back as if they are the calm, rational one while you are painted as unstable. It's manipulation disguised as innocence.
Don't fall for it.
Your anger is not the problem—being repeatedly disrespected is. Healthy people address issues; they don't bait you into emotional reactions just to punish you for having them. Recognizing the pattern is the first step to breaking it. When you see the setup for what it is, you reclaim your clarity, your power, and your peace.
Narcissism reactions
Ask a Narcissist to explain why they did the hurtful, destructive things they did and they will ALWAYS bring it back to something you said or did (or else failed to say or do).
They will rewrite history in real time. They will nitpick your tone, your timing, your reaction, your silence—anything except their own behavior. Suddenly, their betrayal becomes your "attitude." Their cruelty becomes your "provocation." Their lies become your "lack of trust." This is how they escape accountability: by making you the cause of the harm they chose to inflict.
None of that is true.
The real reason is simple: they are lying, heartless manipulative monsters, with the emotional maturity of a toddler. They lack empathy, not awareness. They knew exactly what they were doing. They saw the impact. They just didn't care—as long as they stayed in control, protected their image, and avoided shame.
A narcissist does not reflect, repair, or take responsibility. They deflect, deny, and distort. They weaponize blame to confuse you, exhaust you, and keep you doubting your own reality. And when confronted, they don't answer the question—you asked why, and they answered with you.
That's not an explanation.
That's manipulation.
